"This is not the first time I cut my hair, but it was around the time - like my cutting hair habits and I was sitting down on a grass and I'm like yo, I just needed a second to actually take a moment and actually sit and sink everything in that I experienced in my life. Because what was happening was like first of all, I was with a girl who was in Nova Scotia or whatever and I was like asking her how would she feel up to be about me cutting my hair because I was tired of trying to look for somebody to braid my hair. So, she's like oh yeah, that would look good and whatever. So basically, I cut my hair and then next thing you know, like we broke up. So having my hair cut I felt like I was really going through it. I was really, really going through it. I was pissed that I cut my hair because it took so long to grow back but it was so easy to maintain. I felt like I just washed away every crisis, negative - anything that was like that I felt like cutting my hair made me a different character like I was a whole different character, I was - I don't know, yeah, I was just a different character.
Like, I started like I felt like I could get any job because I didn't have no hair you know, I look more presentable for people, more decent. I look more civil, I thought I felt you know, people weren't looking at me strangely where they're like oh my gosh, is this person going to come and attack me because like I feel like having braids. They look at you a whole like different way like having braids and cornrows and what not they look at you different. So, I do this and like - I don't know, I just felt less - less of a hard[unintelligible], I guess to put it. Again, I was in - in a relationship that was going up and down, up and down. I don't know, like I don't know - like I don't know like I went through so much so much. I - I - I can't get into too much details about it because it's like some of the things I don't remember because I really just blocked them out. This is probably the second year of me at my own apartment, but I was still going through stress in my relationship because I still didn't feel accept - accepted because as you can see, I'm presenting myself as a female and inside of me I feel like a man. Like I didn't feel like a man you know, with before - and now I'm feeling more of a man but I'm like my body is its mess - is messing with me mentally because I'm like I'm still presenting myself as a female because you can see my man boobs and stuff but I'm like deep down in my soul, I'm not feeling like that you know I feel more masculine but then I have my sensitive side where I was always crying or like begging for a relationship like I was begging for a relationship to work and yeah. Like I just like I was at a point where I was more like not a I can't say independent, I was more depending on somebody you know. I wasn't being - I wasn't being my own person, I was always depending on somebody to be there, I couldn't be by myself and being by myself - I was scared of being by myself because I'm like I don't know what I'm going to do or how my thoughts are going to be because I had too much time on my hand you know so, but, yeah then that was in this picture I literally just sat down on the grass and my phone was just up in my face and I had another phone and I just took a picture of myself."
Like, I started like I felt like I could get any job because I didn't have no hair you know, I look more presentable for people, more decent. I look more civil, I thought I felt you know, people weren't looking at me strangely where they're like oh my gosh, is this person going to come and attack me because like I feel like having braids. They look at you a whole like different way like having braids and cornrows and what not they look at you different. So, I do this and like - I don't know, I just felt less - less of a hard[unintelligible], I guess to put it. Again, I was in - in a relationship that was going up and down, up and down. I don't know, like I don't know - like I don't know like I went through so much so much. I - I - I can't get into too much details about it because it's like some of the things I don't remember because I really just blocked them out. This is probably the second year of me at my own apartment, but I was still going through stress in my relationship because I still didn't feel accept - accepted because as you can see, I'm presenting myself as a female and inside of me I feel like a man. Like I didn't feel like a man you know, with before - and now I'm feeling more of a man but I'm like my body is its mess - is messing with me mentally because I'm like I'm still presenting myself as a female because you can see my man boobs and stuff but I'm like deep down in my soul, I'm not feeling like that you know I feel more masculine but then I have my sensitive side where I was always crying or like begging for a relationship like I was begging for a relationship to work and yeah. Like I just like I was at a point where I was more like not a I can't say independent, I was more depending on somebody you know. I wasn't being - I wasn't being my own person, I was always depending on somebody to be there, I couldn't be by myself and being by myself - I was scared of being by myself because I'm like I don't know what I'm going to do or how my thoughts are going to be because I had too much time on my hand you know so, but, yeah then that was in this picture I literally just sat down on the grass and my phone was just up in my face and I had another phone and I just took a picture of myself."
